Why do we find it so difficult to ask for help ? Why is this such a stumbling block for so many of us ? It’s ironic that the people who find it hard to ask for help are often the type of people who care deeply about the welfare of others. Other people seem to have been raised on a diet of “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps ” or being praised since they were small children for every act of independence. It is obviously a good thing to encourage children to do things for themselves but we need to balance that with the notion that there is no shame in asking for help when it’s beyond their ability.
It seems that we are becoming more and more focused on valuing the virtues of self reliance and autonomy. In good times these are great things but there may come a time when another kind of strength is more valuable. It takes courage, insight and a depth of self knowledge to know when it is time to accept the care of another.
If you knew someone was distressed, in trouble or in need of help wouldn’t you want to step up and help ? How many times have you said to someone in a difficult situation “why didn’t you come to me?” . It is important to try to remember that in allowing someone to help you provide them with a gift too. You give them the opportunity to show empathy and compassion, to express their humanity in a productive and helpful way. You allow them to share the burden and give them permission to ask for help when they need it. Allowing someone to be a trusted dependable friend and support is an honour worth bestowing. True friends or honestly caring professionals are honoured to help lighten your load.
Lena Horne said “It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it.” Letting someone help you carry the load for a while is no sign of weakness.
I often say to my clients who are dealing with tough times that the tears, exhaustion and sadness are not weakness or a sign of failure – they are simply signs that you have been brave, strong and trying hard for way too long. Struggling alone leaves you with no other choice than to grow less able to cope, taking the step to ask for some support is not only brave but smart.
If you, or someone you know could do with some help call me today on 02 45677104 or email firstname.lastname@example.org